I have had some shoddy luck lately. Luck, karma, chance, fluke, whatever one chooses to deem it – mine has been downright shoddy.
I ended up with a concussion when I landed on my head after trying to give my fiancé a peck on the cheek.
For the first time since I’ve begun medication for the treatment of my bipolar disorder, I experienced severe adverse reactions to the medication.
This sort of bogusness is exactly the sort of stuff that used to trigger harrowing depressive episodes. I used to take these situations and view them as a sign that I probably should just stop while I was ahead. Give up now before I meet further resistance. Because the first step to failure is trying.
Seriously, I was pretty much the picture perfect depressed, clichéd stereotype.
After twentysome years of living this way, enough was enough. No longer will I allow myself to be the victim of my circumstances. A book that was given to me by a dear friend Miss Sara Goguen (who runs an amazing website called Saratonin that y’all MUST check out) has a quote in it that has really begun to shape my methods of living. The book is called The Last Lecture, by Randy Pausch. I am going to be talking about this book A LOT, so I will save the synopsis and all that jazz for another day. For now, I just want to address this quote…
“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”
There are things that happen to us that are going to be beyond our control. And when these things happen, like it or not, we cannot change them. So instead of mulling over “oh how I wish this did not happen to me”, we gotta get ourselves in gear and change the way that we handle these situations.
Okay, I got a concussion. It hurt. Wasn’t the most awesome thing that ever happened to me.
Two paths to go down.
1. Good ol’ fashioned pity party!
2. Embrace with optimism.
How the hell do you embrace a concussion with optimism?
Well. I got some time off work to recoup. That time off work led to endless hours of thought, since I was put on bedrest. That thought led to ideas. Those ideas led to a project. That project led to Choose Good.
Reaction to meds?
Figure out what is making my body respond negatively. And fight with everything I have to get my happiness back. I earned that happiness, dammit, and I will not let it slip away from me again.
Randy Pausch called negative setbacks “brick walls”. I’ve been meeting a lot of brick walls lately. But, in his ever-astounding wisdom, Randy said that “the brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.“
So when you come across the brick walls, do not let them break you down. Break THEM down. Fight for what you want. Because in the end, it makes getting what you’ve earned that much sweeter.